whattodoidontknowiamlost

Today I bought a blender. Tesco value blender that is. I want to blend toys and plastic things. I want to destroy some horribleness. Or destroy things that took a lot of time to make. I still don't know.

I want to find out what transitory means, so today I am going to look at all the definitions there are for this word. Maybe words will help me go somewhere, as I feel a bit lost with my work right now. I have been looking at some Javanese and Malay shadow theatre books the past few days. The reason for me to look at shadows is because they are transitory, they change and transform, like life and like the mandalas. But unlike the mandalas, shadows are projections of something else. What does this mean? I am also looking at destruction (hence the blender).

Maybe I am looking at the contrast between the ready made and the home made and that is why I want to destroy plastic ready made things and build things that take a while to build. But what do I want to build, and what do I want to destroy? I am lost.

I still want to do something that takes time and effort and then learn to let it go. But does this require destruction? I think I want to destroy it because if I don't then it will always be there and I will get attached to it. What is this it even?

I was watching this BBC series called “Human planet” and in one of the episodes a tribe builds a house up on a tree. This takes ages and everyone helps to build it. By the time it is finished they have the most epic view over the forest, and although they have to climb up about 40 meters up and down every day they seem to think that it is worth it. This is why I look at other cultures, you could say less developed ones, but only in technology. I think they are much more developed than us in the way that they appreciate small things they achieve with their sweat and hard work and community help. I want to learn how to appreciate these small things and not be afraid to work hard for them.

All of us look for meaning in life, and this is my way of looking for it. This is why in my work I look at our obsession with buying and owning things that will never bring us happiness. This might be why I want to destroy these plastic toys. Don't teach your children to love objects. Teach them to love what is already there or what they can produce. We are able to do so much more than we do and yet we just sit and get given everything without even working to hard

And here I go again. I should be talking about art and what inspires me, but this is a subject that I feel so strongly about that I can't help but dwell on my thoughts. And yes, maybe I am a bit of a hippie. So what?
I think I should stop for today, because I feel like hoping on a plane and going to live in the jungle and that doesn't seem possible. I guess I'll just do art about it instead.

Korowai Tree House: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wGNr3bb5xw